He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
