the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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