Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
