I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
