Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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