in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
