I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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