after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
