I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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