Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
