I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize