I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
