Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
