Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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