she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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