So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
