Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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