Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dignity is for republicans.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
