I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
