Someone shit on the floor
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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