But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize