Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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