Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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