I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
