You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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