ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
