Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
