I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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