It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
