somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
