Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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