we're blogging at a bar
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize