she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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