Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize