He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
