therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
