This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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