i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
