Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize