Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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