New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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