sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
