you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
