We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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