I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
