I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
