Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
