it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There was a lot of him and a little penis
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
