i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
