My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
