you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
