I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The adults are the big ones right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
