my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
