dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
