I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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