So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
