Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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