So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize