we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
